Find us on Google+ Gastroparesis: Detox - Day 3


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Friday, January 18, 2013

Detox - Day 3

I've been off of most of my medications for a few days now. The only ones I'm taking are Zanaflex 4mg, Phenergan 25mg, Ambien 5mg, Zofran 4mg, Xanax 0.05mg, and I'm weaning myself off of the Zoloft and Nortriptyline, since I can't just stop those cold turkey.

I need to ask the doctor for something stronger for insomnia. The Ambien 5mg just doesn't really work for me. I also need to ask the doctor if he could up my dose of Xanax for this month because just thinking about the future gives me a panic attack. I am so anxious that they aren't going to find anything or if they do, it will be horrible.

I also have really, really intense stomach spasms. They come in waves and all I can do is double over and not move. I try to breathe through them but that doesn't really help. It's almost like having a charlie horse in my abdomen. All I had today was a tiny bit of chicken and a small helping of rice. After I ate that, it took about thirty minutes for the gastric spasms to start.

The headache is also still lingering but I'm not sure if that's from dehydration or if it's from detoxing from all of the medications I'm not longer taking. I'm so exhausted and so weak. I've been sleeping a lot in the past few days because I'm just worn out. I thought about trying to finish some of my short stories and send them to publishers as a collection to see if anyone would publish them. I have great vivid dreams that would make amazing stories but I'm out of practice in writing. I've been writing research papers the past few years, so I am out of practice with creative writing. It would make me happy to have something of mine published. When I was a kid, I remember wanting to be a writer. It seems now that with all of the social media, my writing has dumbed down and I need to fix it.

I also need to write down my personal GP story for a book my friend LaShelle is putting together on GASTROPARESIS PAGE. She wants to make a Chicken Soup For the Teenage Soul but with Gastroparesis. It's been a long time since I've written like that. The last time I was published, I was in high school and wasn't so out of practice.

I feel like I never want to eat again. That rice keeps giving me spasms every hour. It hurts so much and the pain is intense.

I have been thanked for my blog, which makes me happy. It's actually helping people! I'm glad because that's part of the reason I started this. I didn't want people to take unnecessary medications or tests that people may not need. My blog has had over 6,000 views. I mean, that's amazing! Thank you all for reading my blog!

Another thing that's bothered me a bit. People keep telling me how strong I am. I don't always feel so strong. I feel so weak compared to the other admins on the GASTROPARESIS FACEBOOK PAGE. I mean, I try to be my own advocate but most of the time I just feel like I'm being whiny or annoying my friends with my blog posts. This is how I cope with the added stress. I need to write and get it out.

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