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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Visit with Dr. Levitt - More Surgery?

I went to visit my OB/GYN for my usual checkup and my 2.8cm cyst that the GI doctor found while doing a CT scan. I had an ultrasound done, which was extremely painful and my regular exam was extremely painful, and then found that I have another cyst, that is 2.0cm. The previous one had ruptured and now I have another.

I could have cried.

It's hard to tell when the previous one ruptured because of my stomach pain. It's hard to tell the different pains a part, if that makes sense. But now, I get to look forward to another cyst rupturing. He wants me to take Depot Lupron. This is an injection given once every three months for up to six months - so I would have two injections. If this does not work, then he is going to go in laproscopically, through my belly button, and clean out everything - all of the scar tissue and endometrosis. So, I might have more surgery. I'm trying the injection first. I really don't want any more surgeries.

I'm trying to take care of EVERYTHING that causes me pain so that I can tell what's *just* coming from my stomach.

I'm just really frustrated. I mean, all of this is impacting my life. I want a normal life. I want to just go to class in the fall without any problems. But now, I may have THREE possible surgeries in the fall. How do I deal with that and class? What do I do? Do I just register for Maymester classes? Even if I take an online class, I may miss some of it because I will be on medicine. The nerve medication I'm on now makes me slur my words and makes me sound like the town drunk. I didn't take it today so that I could talk to my doctor without him thinking that I had been drinking.

My drug list is getting longer. I had to buy a bigger pill caddy. I know all of this sounds like whining but I'm just so tired of it all. I'm tired of all of the medication, tired of being under the influence of medication all of the time, tired of not leaving my house, tired of being dehydrated, tired of vomiting, tired of having more problems that may need surgery - I mean, it's a lot to deal with. Sometimes, it seems like no one understands. It just hurts even more. I know my friends are tired of hearing about it and that's why some of them don't come over anymore. That's like a knife in my heart.

It just seems to be one thing after another. I'm not in control and I don't know what to do. Please cross your fingers that this injection works. If not, it'll be another surgery for me. It's not a bad surgery - they go through my belly button - but it's still surgery. And I think I've had enough of those.


Unknown said...

It's so easy when we're healthy to just take it all for granted. Then life happens and it sucks. I'm sorry that you're in pain, I hope that things improve for you.

I'm glad you're writing - it's an excellent venue for working through your feelings. That feeling of being out of control is so hard to manage. {{internet hugs}}

emilysstomach said...

Thank you for that. =) It means a lot. The writing was my doctor's idea. He said it would help me get through the rough patches and help my friends understand what I'm going through. I will never take eating for granted again, that's for sure.

Tiger said...

I would totally visit you if I could. Let me know if you ever want to skype or something. Hang in there, there are people who will support you through all of this. Hug!
Anna L

Talia said...

Kinda letting you know -- I read your posts frequently. I cannot say much else (other than, of course, it will be great when things start looking up). I feel like one way your blog helps is it kinda lets your friends (like me) see things straight from your perspective rather than as an outsider. That really helps me understand a bit, which I want to do. We should visit soon :P