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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Isolation & Sadness

I managed to sleep most of the day. I feel exhausted and lethargic. I was able to keep some of my anti-nausea medications down, at least.

G-Pact has a lot of great information about my disease that you can read about. You should read the information listed there to understand what I'm dealing with and going through.

I have to take things day by day.

This illness can be a very isolating one.

This illness can affect one's quality of life because of the depression and isolation that comes with it. It is also frustrating as well that it can be hard to predict what I can do from day to day. I know I have had days when even what is usually the safest for me still aggravates my digestive system. I can't tell you how guilty I feel for not being able to do things or even go to a movie with my friends. I really want to, but I'm not physically able. My heart is in the right place, but making me feel worse about it doesn't help. Trust me, I guilt trip myself enough without any help.

There can be a fear of the unknown. Unfortunately sometimes this fear can lead to my friends getting hurt by assumptions or misunderstandings. Maybe I should offer to let them come to the doctor with me so that they can hear the things I'm actually dealing with.

My whole world shrinks because I become more limited in what I can do. I need to have gatherings at my place right now if my friends want to hang out because car rides make me sicker and I have to ride around with a bucket. I'm just not sure how to address the problem. I want to feel better but the thought alone isn't going to magically fix my stomach paralysis.

I meet with the doctor on Wednesday. I hope he'll be able to give me by biopsy results and help me figure out the next step to take.

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